Overcoming “No”

The path to success in influencing people involves clearing some hurdles on the way. Sometimes, you have to jump pretty high, too. It can be a shock if you haven’t done it before.

If you have to influence someone, whether at home, at work, or in a selling situation, their objections are often really hard to deal with. Especially if their “no” is categorical and heart-felt.

Imagine someone sent you this text …

“I am not interested in your opinion. Everyone has an opinion and most opinions are not worth the time used up expressing them, particularly when you are trying to sell me something.”

Pretty devastating, huh?

Well … no. Not really.

This is definitely not the time to give up. Far from it.

Before you send a reply, understand their message.

And, I mean, really understand it.

Let DeepWord do the analyzing and you’ll see some interesting insights.

It’s a simple cut and paste, then hit the Submit button.

First, you’ll that their Wavelength is “knowing and believing.” So, their mind is made up … about opinions, at least. That’s the hardest position to shift. And, things don’t get any easier with their Silent Stance that shows they are “mostly closed” to other people’s point of view. Oh dear. Tough one.

They are presenting themselves, emotionally, as pretty straight and clear. DeepWord detects their upfront Message Mood as being “candid, vigilant and trustworthy.”

But, Deep Down they perceive themselves as being “distant, emphatic and influential.” So, that is what’s really happening emotionally, and those feelings are actually driving them.

So, don’t say to yourself that the door is firmly closed and there’s no point knocking any more. That’s simply not true.

Right! So, what do you do?

Then, Understand Your Reply

First, start keying your reply into DeepWord.

Your task?

Move away from their Wavelength of “knowing and believing.” Get them back to “noting and informing.” That way you can begin to build a new set of certainties. “Noting and informing” is about facts, so start writing about facts versus opinions.

While you are at it, change their Silent Stance to “partly closed” to help them to change a little from “mostly closed.” Do that by showing that you are okay with their point of view.

Then, mimic their Message Mood and Deep Down values, as close as you can.

Here’s a response …

“I understand. I am always skeptical about peoples’ opinions. Sometimes they will stick with them no matter what. Sometimes they have a different opinion the next day. And, often they ignore important facts that don’t suit. But, that’s the key. You have to accept facts rationally. Test them. See if they really can make a difference.”

Right, so the wavelength is “noting and informing.” That’s a good start. And, your Silent Stance is “partly closed.” Perfect.

Now, let’s look at the surface emotions you have presented.

Your message feels, according to DeepWord, to be “vigilant, trustworthy and influential.” They sound really good emotions for this type of response. You’ve got two of the three in the incoming message. The other, “influential” replaces their “candid.” I think that’s a fair swap, in the circumstances.

The Deep Down emotions and motivations in the reply are “candid, emphatic and determined.”

But wait! See the deeper mood that motivates your message Deep Down? “Candid” is the first. That means you have the first three emotions of the incoming measure covered. I think that nails it.

In the Deep Down analysis, incoming and outgoing share “emphatic.” And, the reply is “determined” while their original message was “distant.”


The reply provides the very best chance of success.

Next, you should shift the conversation to draw conclusions from facts. That should take the conversation (by them or by you) to a wavelength of “analyzing and appraising.” Then, shift the wavelength to beliefs based on those conclusions. That’s the Wavelength called “knowing and believing.” Hey! That’s where we started.


Now, you have them primed to emotionalize (feeling and expressing) and act (moving and changing). Tell them how they will feel (it will be good!) when they take action. Then ask them to do it.

If they slide back to raise objections, take them through the sequence again … not on the whole scenario, just the issue of their objection: facts, conclusions, beliefs. Narrow it down.

Then you’ll be back at the feeling and acting stage again. Ready for a decision.

See how DeepWord gives you an instant invaluable insight?

Good job.

Increase the precision to reach the decision.
Try DeepWord


Posted in Behaviors, Communication, Determination, Influencing, Language, Managing Relationships, Objections, Sales, Text Messages

Murdoch Tweets His Thoughts on the London Attack

One of the most powerful media tycoons (or maybe THE most powerful), Rupert Murdoch has been astonishingly successful over his life.

Now that the 82 year old is comfortable with Twitter (and believe me, it didn’t take him long), we get the opportunity to see the mind behind the thoughts.

Mr Murdoch recently tweeted about the killing of Drummer Lee Rigby in Woolwich, south London. Many people were saying that the murderers were just that: murderers. And, they weren’t terrorists. Rupert Murdoch put his thoughts to the twittersphere. Here’s his post:

“Many UK tweeters say no terror. Admirable, gutsy, but get real and go listen at some mosques. Admit most okay but others really scary.”

Okay, so let’s look behind the words and see what DeepWord knows.

First, and most interesting, is that DeepWord assesses his tweet as mostly about emotions. He is telling you with a keen focus on “feeling and expressing.” Next, DeepWord says he is “mostly closed” to other ideas. Don’t over-think this. Most people, when expressing their point of view are in this “mostly closed” state.

Mr Murdoch seems pretty staunch. His prime emotion, according to DeepWord, is a sense of being “unyielding.” Less intensely, he feels “certain and attentive.” You can tell he is very strong minded and highly focused.

Deeper down, DeepWord says he is moved by a sense of feeling “passionate, vigilant, trustworthy.”

Well, I think that says it all. Rupert Murdoch is an incredibly strong personality. It’s clear even in his tweets.

Learn more about what people really think and feel.






Posted in Business, Communication, Crime, Emotions, Strength, Success, Text Messages, Twitter

Someone Sane: Ingrid Loyau-Kennett

In the mad and vicious attack on 25 year old, Drummer Lee Rigby in Woolwich, south London, sanity appeared on the number 53 bus.

It was in the form of Ingrid Loyau-Kennett. She had been a Brownie (Cub Scout) leader and, when she saw the situation, she acted with compassion and competence.

She did what she could for Lee then calmed the men who seemed to be the assailants. This is what she reported:

“I was just on my way home after a trip to France. I was visiting my children in Plumstead and I had taken a 53 bus to get to Parliament Square where I was going to meet my children and walk to Victoria coach station before getting the coach to Helston in Cornwall.
 “I was sitting on the lower deck and the bus stopped. I could clearly see a body in the road and a crashed car. I trained as a first aider when I was a Brownie leader, so I asked someone to watch my bag and then got off to see if I could help …(read the rest at the bottom of this blog)

Is there Sanity Somewhere?

We were searching for some sanity in this madness, so we put Ingrid’s words through the impartial, unemotional assessment provided by DeepWord. This is what we found.

Ingrid was focused essentially on action. DeepWord identified that she was primarily speaking about “moving and changing”.

Compare that with the guy (the British media are identifying him as Michael Adebolajo) who appeared on video holding a knife and a cleaver with bloodied hands.DeepWord said he was “noting and informing”. That means thatfor the time being, he had passed the stage of expressing himself emotionally and physically.  But, Ingrid was on high alert. She was more engaged than he was, at that time.

Amazingly, Ingrid reported a Silent Stance of being “partly closed.” That could be her normal state. If so, she talked to the two “assailants” in exactly the same Stance that they were in at that time. (See the previous blog on the alleged perpetrators.)

If you ever want to see a person who is on their toes, see how Ingrid deals with this incredibly dangerous situation. DeepWord sees that during her report she is feeling “attentive, expectant, and serious.” She is focused and ready. Bet you anything, she was the same in that desperate situation in Woolwich.

So, what about her deeper motivations? Ingrid, according to DeepWord’s deeper analysis of her language, is driven by a sense of being “deliberate, distant, and assertive.”

We think that you could not get a better person on the ground at that time than Ingrid Loyau-Kennett. She assessed the situation, engaged with it but was not emotionally carried away. Then, she asserted her right to her actions and her beliefs with the perpetrators. That must be courage personified.

We have only one word in relation to Ingrid: Hero!

See the deep insight that DeepWord provides.




Continuing the Quote

“I went over to the body where there was a lady sitting there and she said he was dead. She had comforted him by putting something under his back and a jacket over his head. I took his pulse and there was none. I couldn’t see the man’s face but I could see no evidence that suggested someone had tried to cut off his head. I could see nothing on him to suggest that he was a soldier.
 “Then a black guy with a black hat and a revolver in one hand and a cleaver in the other came over. He was very excited and he told me not to get close to the body. I didn’t really feel anything. I was not scared because he was not drunk, he was not on drugs. He was normal. I could speak to him and he wanted to speak and that’s what we did.
 “I spoke to him for more than five minutes. I asked him why he had done what he had done. He said he had killed the man because he [the victim] was a British soldier who killed Muslim women and children in Iraq and Afghanistan. He was furious about the British army being over there.
 “There was blood on the pavement by the car where the man on the ground had been hit by it. At first there was no blood by the body but as I talked to the man it began to flow which worried me because blood needs a beating heart to flow. But I didn’t want to annoy the man by going back to the body.
 “I asked him what he was going to do next because the police were going to arrive soon. He said it was a war and if the police were coming, he was going to kill them. I asked him if that was a reasonable thing to do but it was clear that he really wanted to do that. He talked about war but he did not talk about dying and then he left to speak to someone else.
 “I went to speak to the other man who was quieter and more shy. I asked him if he wanted to give me what he was holding in his hand, which was a knife but I didn’t want to say that. He didn’t agree and I asked him: ‘Do you want to carry on?’ He said: ‘No, no, no.’ I didn’t want to upset him and then the other man came back to me. I asked him what he wanted to do next.
 “At that point, there were so many people around that I didn’t want him to get scared or agitated. I kept talking to him to keep him occupied.
 “Then I saw my bus was moving and I knew that the police would arrive very soon. I asked him if there was anything else I could do for him because my bus was about to leave and he said no.
 “I got on the bus and, after 10 seconds, someone came on and told everyone to get down. I saw a police car pulling up and a police man and policewoman getting out. The two black men ran towards the car and the officers shot them in the legs, I think.
 “When the shooting started, I was not scared. There were so many women screaming and crying on the bus, it took me a minute to calm them down. I didn’t have a moment to think of myself.
 “I could see the man with the black hat on was badly hurt as he was being operated on but both were still moving. “The bus then started to move away. They dropped us in the middle of Lewisham which really annoyed me because I had no idea how to get from there to Parliament Square.
 “I am just happy that I managed to do something that might have prevented more trouble. I feel fine at the moment but I suppose the shock could hit me later.”


Posted in Behaviors, Certainty, Commitment, Crime, Inspiration, Military, Strength, Taking personal control, Terrorism, Women

Man with Blood on his Hands Speaks on Camera in London