Living the Love After He’s Gone

On January 12 this year, James Dao published the subtle and moving story of Jackie Finken and her daughters, Emilie, Caroline and Julia. They lost their beloved husband and father, Paul in 2006.

He was killed when a bomb exploded under his vehicle in Iraq. Lieutenant Colonel Finken, of the 101st Airborne Division, was on his team’s 469th mission and it was going to be the last before returning home.

Now, more than six years since that tragedy, Jackie raises her daughters alone, but always asks Paul’s advice when she’s unsure how to deal with an issue.

The memories do not fade but she works to keep them in perspective. She does not want her daughters to be defined by their loss and now she has a growing certainty that she and the girls are okay: moving toward a better place.

We wanted to understand the strength and insight that James Dao recorded. He captured her extraordinary insight when she said:

“I don’t want to squeeze the life out of the memories, because I want them to still be precious and mean something. I also don’t want the memories to drag us down. Because memories can do that sometimes.”

DeepWord analyzed her words for us and its response said so much. Jackie’s words were focused on knowing and believing. This suggests she is drawing from a deep well of certainty.

And, DeepWord senses the emotions that underpin her words. It perceives feelings of being distant, candid, and vigilant. These are the emotions of the realist and the guardian.

It is clear that she has grown through this searing test. And, DeepWord perceives deeper motivations that are serious, trustworthy and emphatic. You can see why we were so moved and impressed by this remarkable soul.

But, other words also took our breath away.

Paul left “pick me up” notes for his daughters that are now collected in a cookie jar. They included messages like:

“Give your mommy a big hug.” “Make a silly face.” “No whining, be happy.”

We gathered these three precious messages and gave them to DeepWord. Its response said so much about this special man.

DeepWord said he was focused on feeling and expressing. He is at the heart of hearts. It perceived his mood to be attentive, assertive and expectant. What classic fatherly emotions he expresses! And his deeper motivations? DeepWord perceived he was focused, unyielding and dignified.

May his family live long with his inspiring legacy.

You can learn more about those you love with DeepWord.

Read the article.

Other Links

Co-creator of DeepWord. Creator of Infra Language.

Posted in bereavement, Certainty, Couples, Emotions, grief, Inspiration, Living, Military, Mothers, Uncategorized
One comment on “Living the Love After He’s Gone
  1. Numbing pain. My deepest sympathies and admiration.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>


“I thought it was a toy. But DeepWord is truly penetrating!” Geraldine K. Minnetonka, Minnesota, USA

“I like that DeepWord gives you an answer straight off. No waiting or explaining. I use it every time with all my messages: incoming and outgoing.” Wendy R, Gosnells, Perth, Western Australia, Australia

“My English is not so good so I use DeepWord to tell me what the other person is feeling. This helps me very much being Italian and with a different culture.” Domenica A, Nomentana, Roma, Lazio, Italia

“I never respond to a message without putting it through DeepWord. It tells me how they’re thinking so I know how to reply just how they need to hear it." Jeremy H, Myatt’s Fields South, London, UK

“This is a great asset to my business. All my administrative staff use DeepWord to ensure their replies to customers are a perfect fit.” Eileen W, Aberdeen, Hong Kong, People’s Republic of China

“I was hoping DeepWord would tell me everything I needed to know. It didn’t but it helped me so much I will use it with all my txt messages.” Alan de G, San Marco Estates, Tucson, Arizona USA

“Every message I receive with my business I pass through DeepWord. It gives me a unbeatable edge. Very useful both on the personal level and in work negotiations.” Joost S, Hazendal, Cape Town, South Africa

“Mind blowing. So accurate. Exactly what I need.” Pete K, Plaza Milwood, Charlotte, North Carolina, USA

“I don’t usually trust internet sites, especially web apps. But DeepWord is fast, simple and deadly accurate.” Dale McK, Balwyn, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

“I use it with the emails and IMs I get from my boss and from my wife (same thing really). It lifts my game immeasurably. Couldn’t do without it.” Steve W, Hexthorpe, Doncaster, UK