Overcoming “No”

The path to success in influencing people involves clearing some hurdles on the way. Sometimes, you have to jump pretty high, too. It can be a shock if you haven’t done it before.

If you have to influence someone, whether at home, at work, or in a selling situation, their objections are often really hard to deal with. Especially if their “no” is categorical and heart-felt.

Imagine someone sent you this text …

“I am not interested in your opinion. Everyone has an opinion and most opinions are not worth the time used up expressing them, particularly when you are trying to sell me something.”

Pretty devastating, huh?

Well … no. Not really.

This is definitely not the time to give up. Far from it.

Before you send a reply, understand their message.

And, I mean, really understand it.

Let DeepWord do the analyzing and you’ll see some interesting insights.

It’s a simple cut and paste, then hit the Submit button.

First, you’ll that their Wavelength is “knowing and believing.” So, their mind is made up … about opinions, at least. That’s the hardest position to shift. And, things don’t get any easier with their Silent Stance that shows they are “mostly closed” to other people’s point of view. Oh dear. Tough one.

They are presenting themselves, emotionally, as pretty straight and clear. DeepWord detects their upfront Message Mood as being “candid, vigilant and trustworthy.”

But, Deep Down they perceive themselves as being “distant, emphatic and influential.” So, that is what’s really happening emotionally, and those feelings are actually driving them.

So, don’t say to yourself that the door is firmly closed and there’s no point knocking any more. That’s simply not true.

Right! So, what do you do?

Then, Understand Your Reply

First, start keying your reply into DeepWord.

Your task?

Move away from their Wavelength of “knowing and believing.” Get them back to “noting and informing.” That way you can begin to build a new set of certainties. “Noting and informing” is about facts, so start writing about facts versus opinions.

While you are at it, change their Silent Stance to “partly closed” to help them to change a little from “mostly closed.” Do that by showing that you are okay with their point of view.

Then, mimic their Message Mood and Deep Down values, as close as you can.

Here’s a response …

“I understand. I am always skeptical about peoples’ opinions. Sometimes they will stick with them no matter what. Sometimes they have a different opinion the next day. And, often they ignore important facts that don’t suit. But, that’s the key. You have to accept facts rationally. Test them. See if they really can make a difference.”

Right, so the wavelength is “noting and informing.” That’s a good start. And, your Silent Stance is “partly closed.” Perfect.

Now, let’s look at the surface emotions you have presented.

Your message feels, according to DeepWord, to be “vigilant, trustworthy and influential.” They sound really good emotions for this type of response. You’ve got two of the three in the incoming message. The other, “influential” replaces their “candid.” I think that’s a fair swap, in the circumstances.

The Deep Down emotions and motivations in the reply are “candid, emphatic and determined.”

But wait! See the deeper mood that motivates your message Deep Down? “Candid” is the first. That means you have the first three emotions of the incoming measure covered. I think that nails it.

In the Deep Down analysis, incoming and outgoing share “emphatic.” And, the reply is “determined” while their original message was “distant.”


The reply provides the very best chance of success.

Next, you should shift the conversation to draw conclusions from facts. That should take the conversation (by them or by you) to a wavelength of “analyzing and appraising.” Then, shift the wavelength to beliefs based on those conclusions. That’s the Wavelength called “knowing and believing.” Hey! That’s where we started.


Now, you have them primed to emotionalize (feeling and expressing) and act (moving and changing). Tell them how they will feel (it will be good!) when they take action. Then ask them to do it.

If they slide back to raise objections, take them through the sequence again … not on the whole scenario, just the issue of their objection: facts, conclusions, beliefs. Narrow it down.

Then you’ll be back at the feeling and acting stage again. Ready for a decision.

See how DeepWord gives you an instant invaluable insight?

Good job.

Increase the precision to reach the decision.
Try DeepWord


Co-creator of DeepWord. Creator of Infra Language.

Posted in Behaviors, Communication, Determination, Influencing, Language, Managing Relationships, Objections, Sales, Text Messages

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